There are only a handful of people, with whom I shared this story before. Now, I wanted to share this with the whole world. This story is about nothing but some personal thoughts, which I would love to share with the world. I just want to share 4 small stories. Nothing more, nothing less!
The first story is about - me as a coward.
I hope you all know ‘Valley of death’, a poem, written by Tennyson. Goes something like, “Forward the Light Brigade, charge for the guns he said” and “How can their glory fade?”. my favorite stanza in the poem is “Not tho’ the soldiers knew, Someone had blunder’d” – The soldiers knew that they are about to die. But not one soldier asked any questions. They just did it and they just died. Against the fact that they are going to die, they had courage to follow their leader’s order. That’s bravery and that’s an Honor. And this poem is beautifully portrayed in the film, ‘The Blind Side’. I just totally fell in love with that film. This created a strong impression in my mind, during my 8th standard schooling. This created an impression that I was a coward. Because, I never listened to my teachers or elders. But, something extraordinary happened last April. It is only from that time, I gained the courage to listen to my elders.
The second story is about - me as a waste paper.
Nothing about me was normal. I learnt everything in a hard way. I fall hard, crashing into core of earth, but always had gathered enough strength to stand quickly back again. I always made a lot of mistakes. and I was happy about it. Because, to make many mistakes, you must have courage to try new things out. I learned from my mistakes. That gave me experience, a lot of experience. Hacking was my favorite. I used to hack a lot of stuffs. Radios, simple mechanical items, simple electrical items, etc. Due to my trail and error type of learning and I never listened to what others said, It always took a lot of time understand things. But I think I understood it clearly, than everyone else. But that was not the case. “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”, Well said by the greatest superhero of all times, Mr. Albert Einstein. And I believed that I was stupid because, I always failed in exams. No one considered me. So really felt like a waste paper who was useless for anything. But, my grandpa is a great man. And my uncle is also a great man. Because these were the people who protected me, and stood by my side up until now. I am very thankful to them. Things changed when I joined High School. Because, my trial & error type learning helped me understand writing program. Writing program was like raising my own child. Teaching it what to do. Teaching it how to behave. Taking care that it would survive the task at hand and successfully completes it. It was phenomenal. It was awesome. I was able to write programs even the ones which my teachers felt as difficult. I was able to write programs at an amazing speed than others. My classmates came rushing to me to ask for doubts. I heard my teachers saying they put extra effort in preparing, as I was sitting in class. Not just computer, I was dominating math class, too. Because it was always me who gave answers. As I entered College, I defied just about everything. I felt powerful. For 3 years, I stopped learning because I was under illusion that I know everything. But it all changed when from last April. From April, I am starting over, again.
The third story is about - me as my roll models.
I was raised under very different situation. I hated TV. But I loved to watch discovery channel, Nat-Geo and very few cartoons. I spent most of my childhood thinking. Thinking why the things are in the way that they are. Questioning myself a lot. Hunting answers. Exploring jungle. Exploring bird nests. Exploring animal behaviors. Hacking something. Mostly alone all the times. I felt awesome being me. Its me and my world. I listen to story that my grandpa tells. My Great Great Grand mother ( i.e., Grandmother’s Grandmother was alive when I was born. She used to tell Ramayana n Mahabharata. I loved 2 persons very much. Hanuman and Karna. They are my roll models. Other than that, General Iero and Lord-voldemort also are also my roll models. I love hanuman because he was an unmatched and unparalleled student of Surya Bahvan (The Sun-God). He learns everything at a blazing fast. Undefeatable. And my personal opinion is that he has an awesome leadership quality. Because, even though he was powerful enough to beat a whole army, single handed, he took Ram as his leader and stood by his side. It is a very wonderful quality sir. Without hanuman, Ram would have died the very moment when he went to battlefield. In fact, he would not have gone even to the battlefield without hanuman. And need I say about karna sir? He is an awesome fellow. I just wrote a blog about him last week. Click Here you wish to read it. So I personally hate Krishna a little. He was responsible for karna’s death. So I hate him a little.
The fourth story is about – magic that happened last April.
It has been a fantastic journey last six months sir. I have been redefining me. If you had met me before April, you would have kicked me out of office sir. Now it’s completely new me. What happened 6 moths completely redefined me sir. April was peek of my atrocities. I felt powerful than ever. That took my ego to skies. But as college got over, I realized what I have become sir. I lost joy in what I was doing, and I enjoyed only when others spoke highly of me. I hated what I loved, if it didn’t make me feel special. I have become the stupid that I wished I should never become. I had 34 backlogs in total. No one hired me. Everybody rejected me, as soon as they saw my marks. Again, learnt my lesson in a hard way. The heaviness of being powerful is replaced by lightness of being nothing. I started everything over again. I feared a lot. But things are getting straight now.